SESSION TRANSCRIPT

Ganesh's Lesson:

Uprightness and Golden Delights

Note:

Here is a transcript of a two hour session with Katherine.  Just as Ahsen asked me to title his notes for my sessions so I asked Katherine how she would title this session.

J: How are you doing?

K: I'm very out of gas. Like I've gone into a ditch inside myself. I don't have much energy. I'm feeling extremely tired a good percentage of the time. A lot of the time feeling very tired and weighty as if there's a heavy weight on me. Takes a lot of effort to do very simple things. I have to move very slowly; can't proceed through something at a faster pace. It's gotten very bad in the last week.

Things are pretty busy at work. The kids are presenting a graduation program next Tuesday. We're very frantic at times trying to get the preparations for that done. That generally doesn't bother me but it's bothering me now, because I'm straining to keep going.

I don't have much go.

J: What is it about?

K: I'm sure it's some negative image; some negative parental energies. I feel irritable a lot of times. It's hard to do much.

J: Who is that a negative identification with? K:  I'm not sure, probably the mother.

J: When did it begin or what started it up?

K: I don't think it was a single thing, just ....  nothing that I can point to.

J: Would you like to do EP 1 (Eidetic Parents Test instruction #1) for a pointer?

(Note: The initial instruction for the 30 item Eidetic Parents Test can be used on many occasions to surface an image that reveals the underlying early family situation at the root of a person’s current problem. The scene the image brings up serves as a stage for freeing the imager from her problem at a deep level.)

K: OK. I see my mother in the living room reading a newspaper. She's like really irritated with the newspaper, like it's unwieldy or something. I don't quite know how to describe it. She's thrashing the newspaper up and down. It's The New York Times. She has it wide open; wants to fold it so it's more compact. She's having a hard time getting it to behave, and it's really bothering her. Mhmmm. As I see that I feel thrown into my irritation.

J: Describe that in detail.

K: My irritation? 

J: Yes.

K: It's almost like whatever I put my mind onto my feeling about it goes negative. It's almost like it's magnetic, magnetic towards the negative, a magnetic pull towards the negative. I've noticed it coming when I'm trying very hard to stay up and then I naturally swing down when I come down from that up. I'm straining to stay up, managing to stay up. When I come down I slip into this deep irritation with things. Anything I'm experiencing in actual life has a negative filter over it. And it saps my energy. I've got no energy. I'm sunk into it.

J: Feel it as deeply as you can. What are the emotions you experience in it?

K: There's a feeling of disgust with being in that state. I feel disgusted about it.

J: What other emotions are involved?

K: A deep feeling of giving up. (Pause.) Angry.

J: There's a big lashing out in it, isn't there?

K: I'm angry at being in the state. I don't like being in that state. It's very debilitating. I don't feel good about myself. I don't feel good about other people around me. It's kinda like being in hell.

J: Your body response?

K: There's a feeling like I don't want to move. And in some ways that I can't move. So I feel like very sluggish. I feel it in my chest. There's like a feeling of weightiness in the chest and in the diaphragm area of the torso, which feels weighted down, feels collapsed, imploded almost into itself. There's a feeling of closing up.

J: Glide back into the past when you were a child and see that you're feeling the same way exactly. What do you see?

K: I see myself on a swing in a playground. This child is exhilarated on the swing. She's swinging very high. That is almost in a sense like the up thing I was talking about, when I'm up. That swing reminds me of that up. It's very much in my torso just below the chest, in the diaphragm area of the torso.  I see the child swinging. Hmm.  I see myself jump off the swing as it's high. I swing myself off of it. I like that exhilarated feeling. I'm not feeling it that much right now, but I see myself swing myself off of the swing and I land on my feet.

Sometimes the scene shifts from an actual playground I used to go to in childhood fifteen minutes away from the house. I see myself fling myself off, both at the playground and in my backyard where we had a swing set ... I see both scenes. I can see the back yard and I can see the playground. And I see myself like jumping fences in the back yard scene. The yards of the neighbors' houses are separated by fences. I see myself climbing to the yard of the neighbor to the left, running across their backyard. As I run across, I come to a chain link fence, and I'm into another yard, and run across that yard, and come to a wooden fence, and climb over that fence and into that neighbor's yard. It's almost like I'm running away, which is what's been going on with me, avoiding something. There's this feeling of avoidance. There's something I'm avoiding going into. The drop feeling I'm going into; something about that is very hard to face. It's hard to get into it and stay with it. I want to be away from it.  

J: Does it remind you of anything?

K: Sort of reminds me of both my parents being very consumed with mundane things. That takes up all their energy. That's where all their energy goes, getting through very mundane things throughout the day. They can't rise above it. That's my struggle, to rise above it and get onto some other, get going. I have risen above it, and gotten onto being more productive. But at this point I feel I'm back into that struggle again. I have done some productive things of late. But I want to do more. Feel like I can't now. Feel stuck in this place I grew up in with my parents, which was a feeling of being trapped in their smallness, that consumed them in the day to day. And that's where I am right now. I can't get out of that. I feel like them.

J: Who would help you out of there?  Who would you like to turn to to help get you out of there?

K: I think, Ganesh. (Note: Ganesh is the Hindu god with the head of an elephant and the torso of a baby, Shiva's son, who is worshipped as the remover of obstacles and the god of prosperity. Katherine is Christian.)

J: Ask Ganesh to appear and help you face this.

K: I ask him to appear so I see him and he has a smile on his face. He's smiling and his trunk is upward.

J: What does that tell you?

K: It tells me that it can get better.

J: Body response?

K: My head feels a little clearer. Seems to be in connection to the upward trunk. Basically, that's the main thing.

J: Let Ganesh know something and see how he responds.

K: I tell him that this sunken feeling, this terrible sunken down and sunken in feeling is very burdensome. And he takes his trunk and he bends it down a little, and his trunk, the tip of his trunk, begins to caress three parts of my head. His trunk goes straight down the middle of my forehead, my nose and my mouth. Then it goes to the left, starting at the top of the head, and it caresses down the side of the head, the left ear, and neck area. Then it goes over to the right side … head ... neck. He exudes a cooling gel that comes out of the trunk. It's very relaxing.

J: We have run into this inertia a number of times. I think this time we may be able to get a handle on it. Above you just stated it, gave into it, saying it is burdensome. What if you ask Ganesh, "What about my inertia? What do I do about it?"

K: I do ask him that very question.  "What do I do about it?" His trunk moves away from the gel. It goes straight up. It's very erect. It's quite tall. And there's a fountain that comes out of. It's fountainous. 

J: Body response?

K: It seems to lift my energy up into my face and up into the crown of my head. I feel more upright. The energy is going more up and out of my head more. It seems to be an antidote to the sinking in. The opposite of it. Very upright. I feel the energy in my face and up into my head and crown of my head and out of the top of the head.

J: Now that you feel that energy, what do you want to do?

K: I want to climb. I want the rest of my body to climb up into it as well. 

Now I see not only the head and trunk of Ganesh but I see the rest of his body, his whole body, and he's standing and his arms are out to his side, like little pedestals, and they're holding something. They're holding these, holding something. Could be holding little white lotus flowers, one in each hand. 

J: Body response?

K: I'm starting to feel some energy moving through my arms and very much through my hands, very much like a tingling energy, a tingling sensation.

Uh and I see his belly (a fond sound in her voice). There’s a little gold ring on his navel. I have a centering feeling in my abdominal area. I'm aware of that part of my body.

I see his thighs. They are pretty big, his thighs. I become aware of my own thighs (sounds fond) and they feel pretty good. I have a very very mild tingling sensation in my thighs. They feel very sturdy. Feel good (said affectionately). And I see the rest of his legs and his feet (voice brightening). I experience my own legs and feet. In the feet, there's a mild I wouldn't call it tingling in my legs, calves, shins; and the feet are kind of tingly. 

I see him standing there. I see an image of his full body. He looks very well aligned. His body is properly aligned. He's standing there solidly on his two feet. Not straining but well aligned having a natural uplift. And his arms are out to his side like little pedestals. No strain. And he's holding these little lotus flowers in each hand. His trunk is very upright and high. He looks very pleased. He has a pleased look on his face. He's in some kind of positive internal state; is very satisfied and content; a positive inner state. That feels very good. I feel good in my shoulders as I see that. My shoulders feel relaxed. There's movement in them. They're not held up. My neck feels good. I feel my neck and how it very naturally holds my head up.

And he's wearing a crown of sorts, it's like a party hat but it's made of gold, like a three-cornerd cone hat, and it's made out of gold, and it's sitting on his head. And it's very tall. It goes up as high as the tip of his trunk, which is very high, and it sits on the top of his head. (Sigh.)

Seems to be giving me good feelings in the muscles of my face. I can feel them.

I see the trunk lengthening upward even more, heading for the heavens. As it moves upward I can see the tip of it and it folds backwards a little bit so there's a lip of sorts, it's pretty long and falls down a little ways, like an elongated lip of sorts, and there's like a little bit, a tiny little fountainous thing happening that doesn't spill out over the side, like a constant pulsing upward, like water about almost the diameter of the tip of the trunk but not quite, and it's pulsing, and just keeps pulsing. That's good. I feel myself lengthening. My shoulders drop down away from.... They're not like hunched up. They drop down. I feel more space in my neck.  There's this feeling of moving upward, the energy in my body moving up, very gently; not explosively strong, a gentle strong. Kind of building. It has an airy quality about it, yet it's building. My energy is moving up. I can feel it very much in my hands, my torso, my throat, on up through my head and the muscles of my face, skin on my face. It's like lifting me up. I feel lifted up. My body. The physicalness of my body feels lifted up and my energy feels good.

So whenever I look at that trunk that's moving upward with the pulsing water it helps lift me up, my energy upward, in my face particularly. Feels very good.

So that's basically what I see.

J: What if you ask Ganesh, "Where do we go with this? Where do we go from here?" if you want to.

K. Mmm. 

I do ask him that and I see him take flight. He's like a streamlined rocket or jet or something like that. His arms are folded down, and his trunk is out, leading the way, and he's flying like a rocket or like a jet, not straight up, horizontally but a bit on the diagonal, slightly upward, and he just keeps going, and his trunk is like a snake at times, it snakes its way through. It's kind of serpentinish. And his  ...

(long silence)

J: Did I lose you?

K. I'm suddenly feeling like very very tired.

J: Where would you go at this moment, now you're feeling very very tired?

K: I see myself go to those lotus flowers. I see the lotus flowers in his hand.  (Blows, letting out a long breath.)

J: Body response?

K: Relaxing and pleasant.

J: Relaxing where?

K: In the chest. And the diaphragm area. In the back.  (Low blow.)

I see one lotus flower. It has lots of petals. They open up completely and bend down over his hand. In the middle is an Indian woman from India, like a harem girl or something, very Thumblelina type thing. She has long black hair and she's wearing harem style pants, and a bra top. Her arms are up over her head and they're very sinuous. She's dancing with her arms, her arms are dancing. That feels very good. I like that feeling.  (Blows.)  She has gold bracelets on, like bangle bracelets. (Blows.) 

She has a very beautiful golden scarf that is kind of like a transparent scarf, very sheer, and it has a beautiful pattern woven into the fabric. It's totally gold, not multi-colored. But it has a pattern in the thread work almost like embroidery. It's very pretty, and she's scarf dancing with it. Mmmmm. (Blows.)

She's wearing very lovely slippers. They are like golden slippers but they have jewels sewn on them; they're red and blue and green and gold and silver, and there are some clear ones. They are very pleasant to look at. They're glittery.

J: Body response?

K: Pleasant. I feel good, in the face, but in a more relaxed way than earlier. She also has a little gold ring on her navel.

She's very sensual. She's dancing with this scarf and looking very sensually provocative. Pleasant. Makes me feel very flowing in my body. I feel it in my legs. And torso and the back.

And she has a basket now of golden feathers, a pretty big basket now, that she's holding in her arms. The basket has golden feathers. Feels very soft. I feel softness in my face. I really get a sense of the softness in my face. They are very soft. It's really nice, those feathers. She puts the basket down at her feet. Putting her hands in the basket, she’s  letting the feathers fall off of them. She's playing with the feathers, putting her hands in them, letting them fall off, does it again. My hands feel very warm, very soft. I get a sense of the softness of those feathers. I feel it very much in my hands. My hands are like glowing with this warmth and softness. Mmmmm.  Mmmmmmm.  And I see her bury her face in the basket of feathers. And mmmmmm.... I feel that on my face as well. Warmth and softness. Not as strong as on the hands but it's there. It's like she's washing her face with the feathers. (Laughs joyfully.)

Now I see feathers, golden feathers being rained down upon her. There's a rain of them, and Ganesh is the one who's pouring them on her from above, using his other hand. He's got a stash of these golden feathers. I see him with his hand like a pedestal holding this lotus flower out that is holding this Indian woman. He's got a smile on his face, and with his other hand he's showering her with some more of these feathers. Feels good. Feels very nice.

I see her down on one knee; her body is very upright. And she has both her arms out to her side, sort of pedestal like, like Ganesh was. She's smiling, receiving this shower of golden feathers, and they cascade down over her.  Mmmmm.  Cascading almost like water. There's a real flow of them.  She's smiling. She likes it. Mmmmmm.   Mmm.  Very very nice. Very relaxing. Deeply relaxing.  Mmh.  Feels really good. 

I think I'm about done for now.

J: What would your working title be?

K: Uh (blows) My working title would be "Ganesh's Lesson: Uprightness and Golden Delights." (Delighted giggle).

J: What would you say the image did for your presenting complaints?

K: Well it moved me out of that space, so it resolved it, it solved it. It moved me out of that space. It moved me into a much better space.  It healed it.

J: So what are you going to do with this image?

K: There's a lot there. I would very much like the notes on it. I can see that there's a lot of elements in it that I can use now for a while. And just let it unfold further, the whole thing of Ganesh there as that rocket, when you asked where do we go from there, where does it take us next, and I had an image of him as a rocket and I saw his trunk serpentine. I think that that can be played out more and allowed to unfold more. I think that's an important energy there, for forward movement. And the Indian girl is also important. I can see myself returning to her for a sensual bath for my mind and my psyche, my senses. That's also very healing for me. I feel my system seeks that out a lot when I'm stressed or fatigued. That is very healing for me.

And also that scene where Ganesh appears holding her and giving her that feather shower. I think more can be unfolded with that as well. I can think of Ganesh interacting with her more. It will unfold. I think that element can be concentrated upon, that aspect that came out at the end there. I can see him smiling as he's showering her with these golden feathers. I can feel the benevolence and strength about him. He's a giant. There's a deep goodness and kindness about him. There's something between the two of them there. He's very proper towards her. He's like. He's very. They're in sync with each other, and he's very healing. I think there's more that can happen there. Mmmm. That's great.

J: OK.

K: Mmmmmm. 

That was really helpful. I feel much better.  

J: All right.

K: It's a very good session, very healing, I feel very good, I feel much better. That was very good. I think that will be very useful to me.

J: I would just suggest that, whenever you feel that inertia creeping up on you, you make a point of jumping to an image to get out of it because you're in the habit of sinking into it. I know you don't always have time to let a whole image play out. So, at the moment, what facet of this extensive image would you jump to in a moment of need for that purpose?

K: The upward trunk of Ganesh, seeing it moving upwards towards the sky, and that pulsing water coming out of the tip. And also the Ganesh rocket.

J: Just hop right to. That will save you a lot of slump.

K: Yes.  

J: More feathers to you